The Soul's Wanderings
On Death & Dying
I saw my first death yesterday. I was visiting a relative at a local hospital that deals with patients suffering from heart problems. This person i saw was close to dying (suffering from a cardiac arrest) when i visited and died whilst i was there. It wasn't a pretty sight, that anyone whose seen a person dying can testify to. Relatives crying and hugging the now dead body intoning it to come back. Other people leaning on each other for support, calling those who're weren't present with a numbness that was heartbreaking to look at. I guess whoever that old man was (because it was a very old man) he was very much loved.
However, this wasn't why i write this article i.e. to describe the death of a person. I write because at that moment i was wondering about the people who have forgotten that someday they too shall have to pass through that hidden veil and go off into another world. You can tell who these people are too. They're the money grubbing people, who lie, cheat, adulterate for a few more extra bucks. They're the people who're the kingpins, the thieves, the murderers who wrongly take what is not theirs.
What i thought at that moment was, why? Why bother with accumulating billions of dollars wrongly when they won't be with you when you leave. Why bother killing innocent souls, waging war or whatever evils that are there in our society, when at the end of the day, you too have to face a greater being out there. This is the lesson that some people forget and then fall into a cycle of no return.
I was studying Islam the other day. Something in there really made an impact on me. The Quran (the Holy Book of Muslims) keeps intoning its followers to keep remembering that they have to die one day and meet their Allah. The Quran does this because it keeps vices in check. It was exactly the same thing i was thinking at the time i saw the man die.
I also thought of something else whilst i was there. Will the 'man' even exist say in the next 50 years or so? I wonder if someone has thought about their existence in this manner. Say you're a man, happy, great family, with a beautiful wife, amazing kids and for some reason you die. What will happen? Your family will mourn you for a while, but they'll get over it. Your wife will miss you but after a few years, maybe she'll find someone else or will get busy in something else and you will become another memory. To your kids, you'll be missed, but only as if you were a dream and as they grow up, you'll become just another name. In 50 years time, there will be no one left who'll remember you except as a name to those closest ones or if you have done something really outstanding history will remember you for a few years and then that too shall pass. It will be as if you never existed. The biggest names like 'Einstein', 'Aristotle', 'Freud' are meaningless to the majority of the world's population. What standing does yours or mine have and no intones like 'I will remember you forever' has any meaning in this show we call life. Nothing is forever. Nothing.
At the end of it all, the only things that you have with you are the good deeds that you have done in this world. Nothing more....and rest assured there is another world out there and there is a creator present. Life is too full of too many 'coincidences' to imagine that everything is random and everything is to chance.
Live life, love it. You only live once. Don't be afraid of dying, be afraid of living but be afraid of doing evil. Who knows what death might someday bring?
Random Thoughts
Sometimes when i'm sitting alone in my room and the world outside has
gone to sleep, i think of my past, of people i've met, or
things i've seen. I guess we all do that. I remember the usual things
like family days out, my beloved, people i've spent time with. Only
what surprises me a lot is how sometimes the most insignificant things
sometimes comes back to life with an intensity that perhaps would not
have been present at the actual event itself. The girl with the diamond
studded tongue i saw a year ago at the festival of lights. I remember
her because she was one of the prettiest i had ever seen in my life.
Also, because she helped me navigate the festival. The act of kindness
that someone once did for me, when i was in my teens. Just a small
favor nothing more. The person wasn't even my friend, but somehow the
memory struck. The nice comment once that my aunt gave me when i wore
my new clothes. I was 11 at the time. It is these memories that strike
sometimes out of the netherworld that is the medium of thoughts.
I guess it's true what they say. If you want to be immortal, be kind to
someone. Probably nobody will remember the last 10 noble laureates, the
richest men, or the best CEOs on the planet after a while, but everyone
will remember the 10 people who loved them the most, the 10 people who
helped the most while growing up, the 10 best friends one had met.
While the richest person someone knows will fade from memory, the best
friend will last a lifetime in the mind of a person. Truly that is
immortality.
Update
http://www.flickr.com/photos/umairmohsin
New pics uploaded on this site. 20Six storage space finished. 
Update
I've updated my PhotoBlog.
http://pakistan.20six.co.uk
Do let me know what you people think about the additions.
My Photo Blog
I have a new hobby on which i have been spending an inordinate amount of time lately and that's Photography.
These are some of the photographs i've taken recently.
Do let me know what you think of them.
Jag.
http://umairmohsin.buzznet.com
The Lock Of Your Hair
The breeze promised to snatch it away from my grasp as i looked upon the lock of her hair that our tryst had left in my hand. The booty from the ultimate conquest. The silent testament to the hours of passion that she and I had reveled in. This was her memento to me, until we met next.
As the evening's sun descended to its abode, the light rays falling upon my hand turned the dark brown color into a shade of crimson, the hues meshing with the light until it was difficult to tell which was light and which was hair. I gripped the lock even tighter. I was afraid of the wind sweeping it from my grasp and taking it away on those currents uncharted that i would not be able to follow. It was so strong, so beautiful, yet also vulnerable & fragile, just like her. One strong gust from the universe could have separated us, yet there was she and I pitted against the elements and winning.
I caressed her tress in my hand, slowly stroking it with my finger, from the roots to the tip. "It's so beautiful", i murmured. Perhaps i looked like a lunatic right then at that moment (they do say that love drives people insane) and maybe i was mad, i do not know, but at that moment that lock of hair brought her back to me. I felt as if my hands were in her hair, running through her silky sheen of 'waves', like a boat cuts across the water.
Looking at that lock of her hair, i felt a sudden urge and i kissed it. My lips planted upon it, like I would have kissed her lips and felt a delicious surge of pure pleasure cavorting through my body. "I really have gone insane", I thought and... i did not care. It had never ceased to amaze me at how much i could want her. Perhaps i wanted her even more than i realized.
I looked at the hair up closer. "You will always be with me, no matter where i go...whatever i do...wherever i maybe. I want you next to me...i want you to be with me always...and i want to be with you for as long as i live", I said.
As the evening's rays finally settled in and heralded the coming of the night, i opened my wallet and placed the lock of hair inside.
Blase
Why is it man's nature to become oblivious to everything that is good around him and only after nature decides to give a wakeup call, does he gives thanks for all that he has got. I take a look at my life only and i find this in abundance. I have recieved so much and yet i have not given proper thanks for my blesssings. Instead i'm more morose, more down than ever. It's like nothing excites me anymore, no matter what i do. There's no sense of accomplishment even after the crowds have raised me on their shoulders. There's a void in my soul which spirituality has not been able fulfil and there's no satisfaction in wine, women or song.
What is it that i want, that i cannot get? What is it that i am longing for, that one thing without which my mind, body and soul are impervious to everything worldly and outerworldly? I wish i knew.
