Love Letters
You
I don't know why my heart misses a beat everytime i see your name in my
Inbox, when you call me on the phone, or when i meet you. It's strange
this feeling that i have when i'm with you. The way it wants me to
snuggle up to you in the crock of your arm, the way it hungers to have
your strong arms around my shoulders, around my waist....holding me
tight.
What is that power that you've gotten over me, i cannot understand. I'm
like a cat on a hot tin roof when you're not around. Friends say i've
gone crazy (probably something to do with all my high pitched laughs
and excessive amounts of them too & sometimes for no reason...tis
strange), my parents keep eyeing me with a suspiciousness that
i've never seen them display before...but i don't care. I really don't
care. I've never felt like this before. Ever in my life. This strange
taste of longing and waiting and wanting....it's fulfilling me in a way
i've never imagined anything before.
And wouldn't you just love to read my diary? The things i write about
you in them. The way that you make me feel. All the things that i would
like you to do to me....and all the things i'd like to do to you. It
will make even you blush to know what kind of thoughts i have about you
sometimes. I'm laughing whilst i just picture that. Your cute cute
face, turning red...whilst i tell you how much i want you. Ha Ha.
Come back to me....come back to me soon....even though i met you an
hour ago...every second is like an eternity and i want to spend mine
only with you.
New Love
Dearest,
You know what i like most about you. No it's not your smile (even
though you know i love that too). It's something more than that. I have
not known you for more than a week now, yet something in me is crying
out that she's the one...she is the one. I don't know why i feel that way. I
can't even say i know you, but something about us just feels so right.
It's perhaps in the way you tell me goodnight with that smile (Ah!!! that smile) on your face, or the cute way
you keep brushing away your hair from your face. Oh! I know! I know! It's got to be
the way you can spend hours with me, and yet make me feel that we've
only just met a few minutes ago or the way you
understand me more than any person i have ever met in my life.
I don't know what it is that has brought us together, but i hope it never breaks us apart.
Always,
Yours.
If Tomorrow Never Comes
What if you knew that tomorrow would never come. That this is the last
day you would ever see the one you love. What would you say to them?
--------
Dearest,
Somehow i thought that telling you this would be easy....yet i cannot
even start. I cannot even decide how to tell you how much i love you.
There are so many emotions conflicting inside of me and none of them
make sense. I don't know whether to thank you for being a part of my
life, to be grateful for each and every moment of your life that you
have spent with me, or just tell you how much you mean to me. Where do
i start? Should i start at the beginning and tell you that from the day
you have been a part of my life, i have felt like nothing i had felt
before in my life. Should i write about the countless sacrifices that
you made for me, sometimes giving up things that you wanted more, just
to get something that makes me happy, or should i write about the times
that we had our fights and the fact that i cried at the thought of
losing you each time it happened, but would never admit it to you.
Where do i start? What can i possibly say that can ever equal anything
that you've ever done for me. You were the one who kept me sane in my
most trying times, you were the one who was there for me when i needed
a shoulder to cry on, and you were the one who hugged me after every
victory. Can anything i say ever equal all that? Can i describe it in
words, the time, the emotions that we both have felt and lived through.
I cannot. All that i can hope for is that i've given a small measure of
the same love that you've given me back. All i can hope is that you
feel like you have been loved every day of your life...as i feel. All i
can hope is that you feel like you were my only one...because you were....
I cannot even begin to start, darling. I cannot even begin to start.
For how can mere mortal words translate the feeling of 'you completed
me'.
I love you. I'll love you forever.
Always,
Yours.
Thoughts Of A Star Crossed Lover
I had always known in my heart that I loved you. Yet somehow I never expressed my love the way I could have. I had always assumed that your love was mine and would never belong to another. Maybe it was that thought that made me take you for granted. Oh! I showered you with trinkets, meaningless baubles, and lines taken from poetry written for love struck fools. But somehow it was as though I could always have done more.
I had always sneered at those that say 'Those who haven't loved don't know what love is'. I mean what nonsense is that? I had my idea of love down pat. It would turn my world around; I would soar amongst the clouds ; I would always want to be with her ; I would shower her with everything I had. Yet, when I found you, I didn't experienced any of these sensations. Ours was a quiet love. I didn't see stars exploding. I didn't feel my world turn upside down. Infact, many times I questioned whether I was even in love. But what we shared - those quiet conversations with you sitting by my side ; those phone calls deep into the night ; those crazy ideas we would implement and laugh hysterically over ; those stupid jokes that neither of us found funny, yet laughed over anyways ; those fights when I would say something wrong and hurt you and then would try to make it up to you ; those days when I would run away when I thought I had gotten too much of you, only to come back begging for more. I cry when I think of those times . If I had known then that our time was limited, perhaps I would have done differently . And those times when I would take my anger out at you. It was never your fault. I just needed to get my emotions out. All this was new for me. All this wasn't in my dictionary of love.
It has been almost a year now, and yet I cannot let you go. What had i thought when you said that "we should go our own ways?". I had thought " I don't care" and can easily live without you. For the first few weeks I had not thought of you even once and had felt proud of myself. I had thought that it hadn't been love after all and reverted back to my previous life before you. Such arrogance hath a fall. For later I did start remembering. I guess you can only repress something for so long, before it comes back. I would look at couples walking along and felt this strange pain within my heart. I never really thought love could hurt. Wasn't It supposed to be just fun and laughter? I went to places that you and I had been to and would sit there motionless, just staring at the images playing in my head of what I had said to you there, the way you had laughed and the way we had been. People said i was changing, becoming quieter. I would laugh it off , but I knew deep down that they were right. I started dreaming of you at night. My dreams were always the same. I would be lost and scared until you would come and find me.
You had understood me more than anyone else. You had been there for me when I needed you. You had put up with my mood swings, my bad tempers, and my days when I would be unreasonable. And still I had thought that this was not love.
I know now that it was. I know now that I had loved you. I had loved you, even when I hadn't known what love was and I miss you now more than I had ever done before. I miss you next to me. I miss talking to you. I miss walking with you. I miss everything that we once used to do.
And now you are getting married. You are getting married to someone who is not me. Where did we go wrong ? Why did our love never come to fruit. I will never know.
Maybe I should have tried harder. Maybe I should have expressed my feelings better. Maybe then you would have stayed.
- Written By Jaguar
Copyright 2004
